In just 24 hours, my life will enter into another phase. One that I have been looking forward to and dread as well. In just 1440 minutes, one of my daughters will be leaving us for college. In just 86400 seconds, a big part of my life will changed forever...
Since her birth back in 1988, she has never been out of my sight and it is always comforting to know that she is safe and that you will be able to see her when she is happy or when she is sad. But come tomorrow, this is no longer possible. Come tomorrow, she and me will live separate lives and that is extremely difficult for me and my wife.
As a father, you worry about whether she will get along with her studies and her college mates. You worry about what will happen if she faces problems and you are no longer beside her to help her. You worry about whether she is comfortable sleeping in a new bed and in a new environment and alone. You worry, you worry and then you worry some more. Worst would be the missus. She worries about everything under the sun and to make sure that she will be as comfortable as possible, she'll visualize all possible scenarios and packed everything for her right down to the anti-ant powder! For the first time, I share her concerns.
Friends advised us that it is the best for children to learn independence and for someone who has never done household chores before, we worry she couldn't cope. But the irony of it all is that it is us, the parents that need to learn to be independent of our children. For most parents, having their children leave the home is an excruciating experience. After one leave, you start to think about what will happen when the other also leave and leaving the nest that we have built together empty.
Our home has always been full of laughter and we will goof and jokes about almost anything and everything. The most difficult part is that your jokes will be less funny with less laughter. Somehow, my jokes only seems to work with my kids. I enjoy telling them stupid things and sharing with them my interests and I always have a ready audience. Just like a stage performer, your enthusiasm diminishes as your audience starts to leave and while you are appreciative of those that has left behind, you always wish to have a full house.
I know my daughter will be ok. We've taught her enough for the past 18 years and it is about time that she lives out what we have taught her. She too will be entering a new and exciting phase in her life and our only hope is that she will be happy. Nothing else matters more.
As for me, I am thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to witness my daughter's growing up and for allowing me to fulfill my greatest wish in life and that is to be able to witness (1) the birth of my children (2) their first step (3) their first spoken word (4) their first day in kindergarten (5) their first day day in primary school (6) their first day into secondary schools and (7) their first day into university.
Now, I need only to prepare myself for the rest of the firsts that I had promised myself that I would want to do and with the grace of God, I hope that I will be able achieve them all.
My children getting happily married and my first grand child. Beyond that, I leave it to God for I have lived the life that I wanted. Until that day comes, my thoughts will always be with my children and my biggest thought now is for my daughter to have the best times of her life in university.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Not your average superhero
Wow! The price of petrol is really shooting off the roof! Lucky for me, being Superman, I don't need petrol to go from one place to another. I fly! Unfortunately, it's not only petrol prices that have gone up. Prices of almost everything else have gone up and at my measly reporter's salary, it is really going to hurt. A lot of people don't realize this but flying causes friction and my Superhero costume wears out in no time and requires replacement which has become expensive. In fact, with labour costs being so high in the USA, I am forced to change my tailor and had it now made in Shanghai, China. The good thing is that it can be made within a day and it's 10 times cheaper than what it would cost back home. The bad thing about it is that it last just as long... one day! I wish I could fly back to Krypton and had my Mother made it for me, if only it had not been blown to pieces. With the prices going up and up, I will have no choice but to start charging for my services, so I better start working on my price menu....
1. Saving plane clash USD1000/pax*
Includes ensuring the lives of everyone on board and landing at the nearest airport
2. Saving beached whale USD500/whale*
Not inclusive of laundry of costume which will be an additional charge of USD10
3. Saving people falling from building USD50/pax*
Free if the victim does not wish to be saved, in which case, I will help to clear the ground to prevent loss of innocent lives
*Prices quoted are valid for US market only and subject to changes without prior notice. For Malaysia, please contact my local counterpart, "Cicak-Man" for local pricing!
Man, I'm in a jam. There's so many other tasks but I just can't think of them all. F$#@k!
Gotta go now. Just heard my wife calling me through my super hearing. Time to take out the garbage. If only I could start charging for that too...
To those of you who's interested to know why I came up with this post, click HERE.
1. Saving plane clash USD1000/pax*
Includes ensuring the lives of everyone on board and landing at the nearest airport
2. Saving beached whale USD500/whale*
Not inclusive of laundry of costume which will be an additional charge of USD10
3. Saving people falling from building USD50/pax*
Free if the victim does not wish to be saved, in which case, I will help to clear the ground to prevent loss of innocent lives
*Prices quoted are valid for US market only and subject to changes without prior notice. For Malaysia, please contact my local counterpart, "Cicak-Man" for local pricing!
Man, I'm in a jam. There's so many other tasks but I just can't think of them all. F$#@k!
Gotta go now. Just heard my wife calling me through my super hearing. Time to take out the garbage. If only I could start charging for that too...
To those of you who's interested to know why I came up with this post, click HERE.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Yesterday when I was young...
Born just 4 months after Merdeka in the small town of Kulim Kedah on New Year's Day, life back then was very different than what we have now. My father was a shopkeepr and we live in a shoplot located in the main street. When I was small about 1 to 3 years old, my mother would put on a singlet for me but never a pant! The logic was simple. She don't have to worry about me peeing in my pants and lest you laugh at this, I am pleased to inform you that it was the fashion then for young'uns then.
School life was also very simple. You go to school, come home, do you homeworks and play. I was not a particularly studious child but I was smart and has NEVER been in any positions other than first in the whole standard 1 through standard 6! I never really had to study hard even for my tests nor was I particularly aiming to be the best. It was something that came naturally. My mother would always remind me to study hard for my tests only to realize that my tests have already passed!
Back then in the 60s, there were no Bas Sekolah. Its either normal buses, trishaws or private car. I was transported to school by a private car, an old Morris Minor. I remember walking with my older brother and sister to our neighbourhood stall, a stone-throw from our shophouse to have breakfast which is usually a bowl of peanut porridge costing 5 sen and a packet of fried beehoon at 10 sen to bring to school. I was given 20 sen which was put into my pocket and tied with rubber band to prevent losing them. Every Tuesday afternoon, we would be required to stay back for extra-curriculum and the 'driver' would bring my lunch in a tiffin carrier that my mom has prepared for me and until today, I can still remember the aroma of the freshly-cooked fried rice upon taking the cover off. (for those who do not know or have not seen what a tiffin carrier is, it is basically a stackable steel containers with a handle to contain food as there were no plastic bags then). Being the youngest and protected, I was very shy and even in the worst circumstances, I would not dare to speak out. I remembered that I once pooped in my pants in front of the whole class because I was too shy to ask the teacher for permission to go to the toilet!
Talking about poop, we had 'bucket seat' latrines back then which can be traumatic experience as at any time while you are doing your 'business', the door below will open and a hand will reach in a pull the night-soil bucket away! You'll have to suck in and hold on until it is emptied and replaced! Back then, it pays to know the time of collection and hope that they are on schedule! I even remembered once knocking into a latrine when I first learn to ride a bicycle. Life back then can be quite stinky.
I was the only one in family to study at an English-medium school and I remember my brother taking tuition on Bahasa Melayu from a trishaw rider! These trishaws, normally 2 or 3 othem would park in front of our shop waiting for customers and my father would engage one of the smarter-looking Malay trishaw rider to teach my brother Bahasa Melayu and I remember vividly one rainy day when my brother would study inside the trishaw under the cover! Back then, there was no race discrimination. We were never told or taught by our parents to be weary of other races. In fact, I cannot recall any instances when we were taught of any differences of race. I remember playing with my classmates of all races and would sometimes buy nasi-lemak from my Malay classmate Hassan who is very poor and had to help his family by selling nasi-lemak in school until he was forced to stop. It is sad how we have 'progressed'
My father's shop was like a treasure trove as he would sell many varieties of goods on the simple principle that at least a walk-in customer would have something to purchase. We also sold toys and I would have the privileged of playing with different toys and put them for sale later. I was truly ahead of my time as I was already into RECYCLING! Apart from these toys, I was also a very creative child and can turn any old newspapers into a Winchester after watching a Western (Winchester is the rifle that the cowboys use) or a samurai sword after watching a Japanese movie which were very prevalent then. I would then play with them in my neighbour's home which is storeroom for rice and we'll jumped and 'fly' and pretend to be the heroes.
I was however a very forgetful and destructive child, a trait that I still carry with me today. On the first day of my school, my father gave me 2 of his BIC ballpens but by the time I was home after school, both of them had been lost. I would also remember riding the family bicycle to the nearby bookshop only to have the owner of the bookshop sending the bicycle back because I had forgotten to ride it back and had walked home instead! I will also received many toys but none would last more than 2 days. I remembered receiving a toy shotgun where you are required to bend it before you put in the cork to shoot. Upon receiving it, I was so happy and proud that I quickly showed it to my neighbor who is a coffeeshop owner. Before I could say "Hey, Look...", he bent in and broke it! I had that toy for a good 20 minutes! My father would normally not buy a toy for me as we were already selling them at our shop but on one particular morning, I was given a red fire-engine that was supposed to turn and twirl without falling off. I put in down in front of our shop, turn in own and wham! It fell into the drain in front of our shop and broke! All in less than 10 minutes!
There was no nintendo then. Games were simple. Playing marbles, flying kites and spinning tops. I wasn't allow to mix much with other kids so I missed on on all these games. I do get to play a lot with my brother to build plastic toy armies, spinning self-made sharpened bottle caps and hide-and-seek. Lantern festival was something I look forward to as we will buy beautiful hand-painted lanterns in various sizes and shapes. I remember once buying a tortoise latern and a bunch of kids would gather together and walk in procession in our backlane which is very dark. On this particular night, some town bullies catapulted at us and my tortoise was totally destroyed! Lunar New Year was the most happiest when we would be close for 3 days and my father would allow us to gamble until Chap Goh Meh! In a small town like Kulim, new year was a noisy period with firecrackers everywhere and on Chap Goh Meh, the rows of shops next to ours will agree to each put up strings of firecracker lit one after the other and the whole town will be out to watch this spectacle.
Family bonding was also simple and memorable. My father has invested in a fishing business and every Friday when the shop is closed, he would make a day trip to Penang which is an hour away by bus, to replenish the stocks. On his return, he would bring back fresh fish which my mom would cook porridge with it and the whole family would gather at the dining area sitting on the staircase and listen to my father talk about his trip. Until today, 50 years on, I still reminisce about it. Other memorable occasions include the unloading of fresh new stocks, particular porcelain plates and bowls that came in straw baskets that need to be sorted out, stacked and carried to the store room. Every member of the family would be involved and I still remember the code number of one of the plates with rose-decal...6301
My father sells everything, from the smallest of glass bottles for medicine men to plastic chandeliers. A lot of our products were sold as gifts for weddings. Back then, people don't give angpows but presents and I remember helping my father to pack these presents in pinkish-red wrapping paper and stick a gift card on top. The most popular gifts were glasswares. When my elder brother got married, we had so many glasswares that we were luck my father had a shop to resell them! It's no wonder angpows became the norm. Its lighter, easier to carry and recyclable. Weddings then were also very traditional and close relatives will not come to the reception without being formally and personally invited by the head of family. To show that they are not greedy, they will 'resist' coming until you coaxed them into coming and above all, you need also to send a transport to pick them up. That's why wedding reception never starts on time to accommodate these relatives and the tradition has lived on till today although it is inexcusable.
Now I am 50 years old and there are still many moments in my youth that I am trying to remember before I lose my memory. I hope that through this, we will learn to appreciate the little things in our life that may be insignificant but which will bring back fond memories in the future. I can only remember the happy times and the only 'blip' was the passing of my father who has never heard us say our love to him. I never realize the role of the father until he was gone as life would definitely be better and more memorable with all the members of the family making them memorable.
School life was also very simple. You go to school, come home, do you homeworks and play. I was not a particularly studious child but I was smart and has NEVER been in any positions other than first in the whole standard 1 through standard 6! I never really had to study hard even for my tests nor was I particularly aiming to be the best. It was something that came naturally. My mother would always remind me to study hard for my tests only to realize that my tests have already passed!
Back then in the 60s, there were no Bas Sekolah. Its either normal buses, trishaws or private car. I was transported to school by a private car, an old Morris Minor. I remember walking with my older brother and sister to our neighbourhood stall, a stone-throw from our shophouse to have breakfast which is usually a bowl of peanut porridge costing 5 sen and a packet of fried beehoon at 10 sen to bring to school. I was given 20 sen which was put into my pocket and tied with rubber band to prevent losing them. Every Tuesday afternoon, we would be required to stay back for extra-curriculum and the 'driver' would bring my lunch in a tiffin carrier that my mom has prepared for me and until today, I can still remember the aroma of the freshly-cooked fried rice upon taking the cover off. (for those who do not know or have not seen what a tiffin carrier is, it is basically a stackable steel containers with a handle to contain food as there were no plastic bags then). Being the youngest and protected, I was very shy and even in the worst circumstances, I would not dare to speak out. I remembered that I once pooped in my pants in front of the whole class because I was too shy to ask the teacher for permission to go to the toilet!
Talking about poop, we had 'bucket seat' latrines back then which can be traumatic experience as at any time while you are doing your 'business', the door below will open and a hand will reach in a pull the night-soil bucket away! You'll have to suck in and hold on until it is emptied and replaced! Back then, it pays to know the time of collection and hope that they are on schedule! I even remembered once knocking into a latrine when I first learn to ride a bicycle. Life back then can be quite stinky.
I was the only one in family to study at an English-medium school and I remember my brother taking tuition on Bahasa Melayu from a trishaw rider! These trishaws, normally 2 or 3 othem would park in front of our shop waiting for customers and my father would engage one of the smarter-looking Malay trishaw rider to teach my brother Bahasa Melayu and I remember vividly one rainy day when my brother would study inside the trishaw under the cover! Back then, there was no race discrimination. We were never told or taught by our parents to be weary of other races. In fact, I cannot recall any instances when we were taught of any differences of race. I remember playing with my classmates of all races and would sometimes buy nasi-lemak from my Malay classmate Hassan who is very poor and had to help his family by selling nasi-lemak in school until he was forced to stop. It is sad how we have 'progressed'
My father's shop was like a treasure trove as he would sell many varieties of goods on the simple principle that at least a walk-in customer would have something to purchase. We also sold toys and I would have the privileged of playing with different toys and put them for sale later. I was truly ahead of my time as I was already into RECYCLING! Apart from these toys, I was also a very creative child and can turn any old newspapers into a Winchester after watching a Western (Winchester is the rifle that the cowboys use) or a samurai sword after watching a Japanese movie which were very prevalent then. I would then play with them in my neighbour's home which is storeroom for rice and we'll jumped and 'fly' and pretend to be the heroes.
I was however a very forgetful and destructive child, a trait that I still carry with me today. On the first day of my school, my father gave me 2 of his BIC ballpens but by the time I was home after school, both of them had been lost. I would also remember riding the family bicycle to the nearby bookshop only to have the owner of the bookshop sending the bicycle back because I had forgotten to ride it back and had walked home instead! I will also received many toys but none would last more than 2 days. I remembered receiving a toy shotgun where you are required to bend it before you put in the cork to shoot. Upon receiving it, I was so happy and proud that I quickly showed it to my neighbor who is a coffeeshop owner. Before I could say "Hey, Look...", he bent in and broke it! I had that toy for a good 20 minutes! My father would normally not buy a toy for me as we were already selling them at our shop but on one particular morning, I was given a red fire-engine that was supposed to turn and twirl without falling off. I put in down in front of our shop, turn in own and wham! It fell into the drain in front of our shop and broke! All in less than 10 minutes!
There was no nintendo then. Games were simple. Playing marbles, flying kites and spinning tops. I wasn't allow to mix much with other kids so I missed on on all these games. I do get to play a lot with my brother to build plastic toy armies, spinning self-made sharpened bottle caps and hide-and-seek. Lantern festival was something I look forward to as we will buy beautiful hand-painted lanterns in various sizes and shapes. I remember once buying a tortoise latern and a bunch of kids would gather together and walk in procession in our backlane which is very dark. On this particular night, some town bullies catapulted at us and my tortoise was totally destroyed! Lunar New Year was the most happiest when we would be close for 3 days and my father would allow us to gamble until Chap Goh Meh! In a small town like Kulim, new year was a noisy period with firecrackers everywhere and on Chap Goh Meh, the rows of shops next to ours will agree to each put up strings of firecracker lit one after the other and the whole town will be out to watch this spectacle.
Family bonding was also simple and memorable. My father has invested in a fishing business and every Friday when the shop is closed, he would make a day trip to Penang which is an hour away by bus, to replenish the stocks. On his return, he would bring back fresh fish which my mom would cook porridge with it and the whole family would gather at the dining area sitting on the staircase and listen to my father talk about his trip. Until today, 50 years on, I still reminisce about it. Other memorable occasions include the unloading of fresh new stocks, particular porcelain plates and bowls that came in straw baskets that need to be sorted out, stacked and carried to the store room. Every member of the family would be involved and I still remember the code number of one of the plates with rose-decal...6301
My father sells everything, from the smallest of glass bottles for medicine men to plastic chandeliers. A lot of our products were sold as gifts for weddings. Back then, people don't give angpows but presents and I remember helping my father to pack these presents in pinkish-red wrapping paper and stick a gift card on top. The most popular gifts were glasswares. When my elder brother got married, we had so many glasswares that we were luck my father had a shop to resell them! It's no wonder angpows became the norm. Its lighter, easier to carry and recyclable. Weddings then were also very traditional and close relatives will not come to the reception without being formally and personally invited by the head of family. To show that they are not greedy, they will 'resist' coming until you coaxed them into coming and above all, you need also to send a transport to pick them up. That's why wedding reception never starts on time to accommodate these relatives and the tradition has lived on till today although it is inexcusable.
Now I am 50 years old and there are still many moments in my youth that I am trying to remember before I lose my memory. I hope that through this, we will learn to appreciate the little things in our life that may be insignificant but which will bring back fond memories in the future. I can only remember the happy times and the only 'blip' was the passing of my father who has never heard us say our love to him. I never realize the role of the father until he was gone as life would definitely be better and more memorable with all the members of the family making them memorable.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
How's Dad?
Hi again! It's been sometime since I last blog as I was busy moving my things down from my home, or shall I say my ex-home which I had sold off recently.
So what have you all being doing lately?
Yesterday was Fathers' Day or did you forget? My family did or I think they did as I did not see that they have planned anything special for me. Was I upset? Yes, a little bit but like any other fathers, it would be nice to be felt appreciated sometimes. In fact, I did something utterly shameful. I hinted to one of my daughters about it and Wham! the spirit of the event was instantly lost. It didn't feel special anymore even if they were to later to suggest celebrating over dinner and buying a gift for me. Maybe I was ashamed for asking for my recognition, I didn't feel like celebrating it anymore.
Contrary to what I thought would be a disastrous day, I had one of the most happiest day of my life on this Fathers' Day because I had my Mom with me and she taught my wife to make a traditional Chinese dumplings which I had not tasted for umpteen years. While they were making the dumplings which took them almost 10 hours, I was lazying around watching television while my 2 daughters did their own things, I suddenly felt a sense of contentment. Sure my daughters gave me the obligatory Happy Father's Day but it wasn't because of that. I felt happy because I have a happy family and I did not need anything else to make it any better.
But is Fathers' Day important to fathers? It is to some extend but its just obligatory. Showing love and appreciation to your father should not be just a one day affair, it is everyday. Don't just Happy Fathers' Day and assumed that its enough. Fathers, even the most fierce ones will feel good when they know their family, particularly the children appreciates him. Most people finds it uncomfortable to be affectionate with their fathers and vice-versa because most fathers fear losing their kids' respect for him if he is 'too soft'. Irrespective of this, every children should try to show that they really love and care about their fathers, particularly on this special occasion. On this special day, they should not only think about taking Dad out for dinner or buy him an obligatory dinner. This is not important to him. Give him a hug and tell him that he is the greatest father in the world. Don't buy him an Ogawa massage chair, massage for him (it's much cheaper and more effective). Don't take him to dinner but gather all your brothers and sisters together and surprise him with a simple home dinner. At this stage, a simple packet of 'chap fun' would have the same taste as sharks fin and bird's nest. This is more precious than anything on earth to him.
Fathers Day comes but once a year but being a father is being there for the family every millisecond. Don't just remember him for one day, love him every millisecond as well.
Happy belated Fathers' Day to all!
So what have you all being doing lately?
Yesterday was Fathers' Day or did you forget? My family did or I think they did as I did not see that they have planned anything special for me. Was I upset? Yes, a little bit but like any other fathers, it would be nice to be felt appreciated sometimes. In fact, I did something utterly shameful. I hinted to one of my daughters about it and Wham! the spirit of the event was instantly lost. It didn't feel special anymore even if they were to later to suggest celebrating over dinner and buying a gift for me. Maybe I was ashamed for asking for my recognition, I didn't feel like celebrating it anymore.
Contrary to what I thought would be a disastrous day, I had one of the most happiest day of my life on this Fathers' Day because I had my Mom with me and she taught my wife to make a traditional Chinese dumplings which I had not tasted for umpteen years. While they were making the dumplings which took them almost 10 hours, I was lazying around watching television while my 2 daughters did their own things, I suddenly felt a sense of contentment. Sure my daughters gave me the obligatory Happy Father's Day but it wasn't because of that. I felt happy because I have a happy family and I did not need anything else to make it any better.
But is Fathers' Day important to fathers? It is to some extend but its just obligatory. Showing love and appreciation to your father should not be just a one day affair, it is everyday. Don't just Happy Fathers' Day and assumed that its enough. Fathers, even the most fierce ones will feel good when they know their family, particularly the children appreciates him. Most people finds it uncomfortable to be affectionate with their fathers and vice-versa because most fathers fear losing their kids' respect for him if he is 'too soft'. Irrespective of this, every children should try to show that they really love and care about their fathers, particularly on this special occasion. On this special day, they should not only think about taking Dad out for dinner or buy him an obligatory dinner. This is not important to him. Give him a hug and tell him that he is the greatest father in the world. Don't buy him an Ogawa massage chair, massage for him (it's much cheaper and more effective). Don't take him to dinner but gather all your brothers and sisters together and surprise him with a simple home dinner. At this stage, a simple packet of 'chap fun' would have the same taste as sharks fin and bird's nest. This is more precious than anything on earth to him.
Fathers Day comes but once a year but being a father is being there for the family every millisecond. Don't just remember him for one day, love him every millisecond as well.
Happy belated Fathers' Day to all!
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