My Ideal Wife

After my first posting on Malaysian Politics (aiyah, just trying to look intellectual only-lah), I now give you my 2 sens worth on my ideal wife. After reading this, men will envy me and women will condemn my ideal wife but I don't care because what I want cannot be found already-lah!

First, a little bit about my ideal wife. She must be beautiful and looks 10 years younger than her actual age. Maybe that's not good because if she is beautiful, then I look ugly standing besides her but then again, because I am ugly, I make her look beautiful! Anyway, who cares? People don't look at ugly men but at beautiful women only.

My ideal wife must be international. 'China-pek' thinking and puts husband always first. Continental fashion-sense and Japanese (only look pretty and don't talk when around husband's friends). She must be very 'kiam-siap' so that she knows only how to keep many money and spend little. She not 'kepochi' and never tell on husband's friends' 'curi-makan' to their wives. She is able to stay up all night and accompany husband to have fun with his friends and never complaining of being tired or want to go home in the middle when you are having fun. Most of all, she never show 'black-face' in front of husband's friends who also like her company.

Being middle-age and slightly 'hamsap', I like to look at women who have big mammary-glans (trying to sound scientific and less 'dirty-old mannish'), she will also look out and inform me when such subject approaches. As a businessman, I do a lot of traveling and entertaining and my ideal wife will pack condoms for me 'just in case I am 'pressured' by my colleagues to jolly-jolly' and insist on buying a dozen packs even if I insist that I don't need them. This act is not to encourage the husband to 'stray' but because she is very understanding of the 'pressure' the husband has to go through to bring home the bacon and have absolute trust in the husband.

Does such a wife exist-ah? If she does, whoever marries her will be the most happiest man on earth! You men agree-ah? Women might condemn such woman but to be like her, she has to have the highest self-confidence and trust in her husband, the 2 qualities that will make any marriage successful and condemn as you may, it takes a very special person to have these attributes.

Where to find such wife? No need to find anymore-lah because I am married to one for the past 20 years and despite having the envious 'passport' to jolly-jolly freely, I would not trade my wife for anybody and I would never take her trust lightly. She is my world and there will never be another like her and we have made a pledge that we will find each other and be together in our next life.

I am not perfect. I am not handsome, rich or smart but the only perfect thing that God has given me is the Perfect Wife! And I am the happiest man on earth!

Note: Picture shown not my wife-lah! How I wish...